A thosai toss-up?

AT least 16 Indian warriors have cocked their guns for the showdown in the Bukit Selambau by-election next month – all convinced that it is Indian Territory.

None of the warring parties have named their candidates for the State seat but these “gunslingers” proclaim they are ready with their six-shooters.

They all want to be the Big Chief of so-called Indian-held Bukit Selambau, in Kedah, a Malay-majority seat.

There is a lone Chinese, though, among the eight independent candidates who have to date offered to stand in the by-election.

The rest are from Pakatan Rakyat while Barisan Nasional looks likely to stick with the previous Bukit Selambau Indian chief – V. Saravanan (MIC) who ruled for 13 years between 1995 and
2008.

This is a story of little Indians who want to be the Big Chief.

Indians who think that their daily bread will forever be marginalised if another Malaysian gallops into their “turf” and becomes the assemblyman.

If all eight independents throw their hats into the ring, Bukit Selambau will see the highest number of candidates in the electoral history of Malaysia.

And all they will do is argue: over whose dad is harder, over who started the phrase craze “Lembu Ku”. If one says “thosai”, the other says “would you like a masala thosai?”

It is an epic sumo bout, sorry, shootout.

Researchers from Si-Lembu University have discovered that words or phrases considered likely to die out soon include “guts”, “stick”, “wipe”, “bad” and “Malaysia in the Hockey World Cup”.


After a bit of digging we found a longer list of words on their way out: dirty, squeeze, bad, because, guts, push (verb), smell (verb), stick (noun), turn (verb), wipe.

These words suggest that we will just stop talking about poo.

They seem to have a rather excremental theme – every single one of them (except stick, arguably) could be used to describe your basic bowel movement. Delete them, and what will we have left?

Bet you the 16-odd wannabe Bukit Selambau wakil rakyat will keep every faecal phrase in their quest to trundle their way down the constituency to taunt the electorate.